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Hi to All,
Here I sit, just another Michigan day. I dream of the day of sunshine in Arizona again. But, in order to achieve that I'm wanting to rebuild my strength again. I've sat with my pain for nearly two years and as I slowly get put back together, I want to walk again. I'm challenged by using muscles that haven't been able to work for a long time. Each day I walk with my platform walker trying to go longer each day. Even standing straight is a goal after all that sitting. Slowly I see progress with allot of naps. The easiest tasks, are chores for me. My goal was to stand long enough to do dishes, I can now. I hope the day will come that I can without back pain. What a journey and life lesson to appreciate what you once had, while keeping the faith of your quality in whom you have become. It is your heart that makes us and the only thing worth protecting. Our bodies change in time and tragedy and our things come and go with fashion and style in the moment. But our hearts is what remains in thick or thin. I hope your heart is hosting God for your forever friend. That is the only thing we can control and hold on to. No matter what else changes in our lives this is the only thing that stays consistent unless we choose to change it.
As goals face me each day I would stare at the door which leads to the basement. Can I do this? Should I try? What if...............? Well, today's the day, no now today is the day, maybe now I should try. Two weeks later, Syrians go off. Kent county is in a tornado warning. Today is the day. I grab the cell phone and my stair canes and off I go. One step, two etc. I made it. Now I am seeing my long lost basement. I start cleaning as I feel prouder and prouder for my accomplishments. Oh look, my guest bed. I'll take a nap from all my hard work; and three hours later I wake up refreshed and renewed as if I was on vacation. I sure enjoyed seeing different four walls. OK back up stairs I go.
Feeling refreshed and still exhausted from my travels, I nestle in my lift chair to watch some TV and elevate my leg. oh, oh, I'm napping again. BANG! I'm awaken by a noise, and power serge. The power is off. Wondering what just happened, I go to get up and check the circuit breakers. Push, Push and I'm now stuck in my lift chair. Did you know lift chairs work on power and there is no manual release button? Well I now know that. Therapy session number three for the day begins. Or I can stay in prison. How do I do this without messing up my left femur/knee or wrecking my right ankle with my dead talus bone? Time passes and as the smoke clears from all my thinking, I find my self saying two things: It is better to try and fall then not to try at all, and with God all things are possible. Now remember it has only been three weeks since my surgery and I'm still tender and I was on vacation earlier that day. One, Two, Three, OK, now my left leg is swung over the left arm of the chair and my right foot is searching for the floor between the left chair arm and the foot rest of the chair. My head rests on the right arm of the chair and the only thing I can think of doing is to laugh; say get real, you shouldn't be trying this; not feeling like a lady right now and praying that the door bell doesn't ring; To I'm tired again maybe just a quick nap! 15 minutes later I wake up again with the thought that maybe I should have my iron tested I'm always tired yet. As that inner voice yells out at me, "you have to get out of this chair first!" Much stronger from my nap I do a push up with my arms, the right foot touches and now as I'm sitting on the left chair arm my left foot wiggles to also touch the floor and as I stand, I wave my arms in the air as if I'm Rockie that just ran a flight of stairs as I cheer, "I did it! I did it!" See with God all things our possible.
For the recorded 2 hours later I got to do it all over again. It was a bad storm and I'm a slow learner for doing it again. With allot of laughs that day, I felt I went on vacation and to prison. Whats new with you?
Love
Shellyrose
Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
The Garden is Beginning to Bloom!
To All,
The garden is beginning to bloom is how I feel. I felt your prayers going into surgery. I slept well the night before which hasn't happened before. They started my I V with only one poke and that too has never happened. The femur rod was totally loose as it felt to me all along, yet has never showed up in ex rays. So when I felt that I was coming and going I often was. As I'd lift my foot to take a step the rod and gravity would actually turn my foot. Therefore each step I took for a full year truly was breath taking. A pleasant surprise if there wouldn't be any pain and a daily prayer if there was. You know the little breath prayers one will lift up quickly like: All for thee my Lord, This too shall pass, I'm not given any more than what God knows that I can handle ( often asking God if I made it yet or give me the strength to continue). etc.
I feared that the surgery wouldn't show anything and by having it I just sent myself back another year. Well, the problem has been found and corrected. Praise the Lord.
They did do the full surgery. The muscles were pulled away, the rod was removed, grinding ridges into the interior of my femur bone, a new rod was put in and anchored with cement and glue, bone grafting from the donor bank was done and plating the exterior of the femur was added for re enforcement. Then the upper part of my knee replacement was replaced. I got 31 staples this time. I was sent to my hospital room for a four day recovery with the goal of back to a nursing home for two months then back to Mary Free Bed for physical therapy for two weeks or better.
But with the "Round up of prayers" here is what has happened. After my 5th day in the hospital I was sent home with allot of heads shaking. I was walking again with a platform walker, doing stairs, and lifting my own leg again without help or aid devices. Cool Han! I was given therapy at home 3x a week and no driving for 6-8 weeks. Today, 9 days since surgery I felt well enough to do a girls priority. I drove to Mc Donalds and went junkin'. This is the best I have felt physically in nearly two years. My neighbors have asked me if they have postpone my surgery and when I proudly show them some leg, ( only to reveal the 31 staples still in place until Tuesday), they can't believe it. Nor I.
The other night I woke up to find that I was sleeping on my belly. Last time it took me 6 months to be able to do that because I waited for the muscles to gain there strength and reattach to the bone and with the rod slipping it was very painful to turn and change positions. I lived using my power chair and got to the point that I was using slide transfers. Now I use my walker90% of the day. I truly have a dream of AZ this year. But believe you and me only when I can with no risk of a set back. But isn't this good news. As you notice the sunshine, just know you are seeing some rays from my new, long lost smile.
Thankyou to my support team and all your prayers!
Love
Shellyrose
The garden is beginning to bloom is how I feel. I felt your prayers going into surgery. I slept well the night before which hasn't happened before. They started my I V with only one poke and that too has never happened. The femur rod was totally loose as it felt to me all along, yet has never showed up in ex rays. So when I felt that I was coming and going I often was. As I'd lift my foot to take a step the rod and gravity would actually turn my foot. Therefore each step I took for a full year truly was breath taking. A pleasant surprise if there wouldn't be any pain and a daily prayer if there was. You know the little breath prayers one will lift up quickly like: All for thee my Lord, This too shall pass, I'm not given any more than what God knows that I can handle ( often asking God if I made it yet or give me the strength to continue). etc.
I feared that the surgery wouldn't show anything and by having it I just sent myself back another year. Well, the problem has been found and corrected. Praise the Lord.
They did do the full surgery. The muscles were pulled away, the rod was removed, grinding ridges into the interior of my femur bone, a new rod was put in and anchored with cement and glue, bone grafting from the donor bank was done and plating the exterior of the femur was added for re enforcement. Then the upper part of my knee replacement was replaced. I got 31 staples this time. I was sent to my hospital room for a four day recovery with the goal of back to a nursing home for two months then back to Mary Free Bed for physical therapy for two weeks or better.
But with the "Round up of prayers" here is what has happened. After my 5th day in the hospital I was sent home with allot of heads shaking. I was walking again with a platform walker, doing stairs, and lifting my own leg again without help or aid devices. Cool Han! I was given therapy at home 3x a week and no driving for 6-8 weeks. Today, 9 days since surgery I felt well enough to do a girls priority. I drove to Mc Donalds and went junkin'. This is the best I have felt physically in nearly two years. My neighbors have asked me if they have postpone my surgery and when I proudly show them some leg, ( only to reveal the 31 staples still in place until Tuesday), they can't believe it. Nor I.
The other night I woke up to find that I was sleeping on my belly. Last time it took me 6 months to be able to do that because I waited for the muscles to gain there strength and reattach to the bone and with the rod slipping it was very painful to turn and change positions. I lived using my power chair and got to the point that I was using slide transfers. Now I use my walker90% of the day. I truly have a dream of AZ this year. But believe you and me only when I can with no risk of a set back. But isn't this good news. As you notice the sunshine, just know you are seeing some rays from my new, long lost smile.
Thankyou to my support team and all your prayers!
Love
Shellyrose
Friday, September 24, 2010
Does Anybody Have Any Round-up Left?
Hi, remember me?
The reason I'm asking for some round-up is that the weeds keep popping up! Even though I bought my condo in March and was told that the remodeling would only take 4 weeks, I moved in anyhow on July 1st. It wasn't completed until the first week of Sept. A little hard on the nerves and no down time to myself as I now enter into my Surgery. At least it is user friendly for recovery. And what a blessing to have a place called home again!
Probate has once again has been postponed. Andy says he wasn't notified, so now we're looking at Nov, some time and with the condition of my mobility after surgery on Wednesday.
Here is the worst scenario on my surgery and probably what is going to take place. Two Dr"s this time will be operating on me. First they are going to remove all muscle from my femur, knee and lower leg. Then they are going to remove all scare tissue and put the muscles into the condition so they can renew and repair themselves. Then the rod through the femur and lower leg will be examined for looseness . which is expected. They will be removed then the interior of all bones that will host a rod will be grounded with ridges in the inside of the bones so it will have a screw effect which will grab the cement and such before replacing the rods and knee. Once that is done, they might go to the bone bank and place shavings of bone along my bones to create thickness to my weary bones. Then after netting the shavings into position, the Dr.'s will put my muscles back and stitch me up.
Pray with me that my foot is put back in alinement with the other. Just because I often don't know if I'm coming or going on this journey, I hope no one can tell by glancing at my feet. Non the less I look forward to Halloween this year because I'll probably look a fright or at least feel it.
My goal is to swim in AZ in January. With God all things are possible. When He gets done with the round-up, I'll have a glorious garden of flawless flowers and maybe some chocolate!
Love you all and keep the prayers coming please.
Love
Shellyrose
The reason I'm asking for some round-up is that the weeds keep popping up! Even though I bought my condo in March and was told that the remodeling would only take 4 weeks, I moved in anyhow on July 1st. It wasn't completed until the first week of Sept. A little hard on the nerves and no down time to myself as I now enter into my Surgery. At least it is user friendly for recovery. And what a blessing to have a place called home again!
Probate has once again has been postponed. Andy says he wasn't notified, so now we're looking at Nov, some time and with the condition of my mobility after surgery on Wednesday.
Here is the worst scenario on my surgery and probably what is going to take place. Two Dr"s this time will be operating on me. First they are going to remove all muscle from my femur, knee and lower leg. Then they are going to remove all scare tissue and put the muscles into the condition so they can renew and repair themselves. Then the rod through the femur and lower leg will be examined for looseness . which is expected. They will be removed then the interior of all bones that will host a rod will be grounded with ridges in the inside of the bones so it will have a screw effect which will grab the cement and such before replacing the rods and knee. Once that is done, they might go to the bone bank and place shavings of bone along my bones to create thickness to my weary bones. Then after netting the shavings into position, the Dr.'s will put my muscles back and stitch me up.
Pray with me that my foot is put back in alinement with the other. Just because I often don't know if I'm coming or going on this journey, I hope no one can tell by glancing at my feet. Non the less I look forward to Halloween this year because I'll probably look a fright or at least feel it.
My goal is to swim in AZ in January. With God all things are possible. When He gets done with the round-up, I'll have a glorious garden of flawless flowers and maybe some chocolate!
Love you all and keep the prayers coming please.
Love
Shellyrose
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
On the Move
Hi to you all,
I bought a Condo and I can hardly wait to move in. But before I can it is under going some major changes. It is a 2 bedroom, laundry room, deck with a slider, hall closet, pantry, kitchen, dining room and living room on the first floor. The down stairs was finished with a furnace room, storage room and full bathroom. On the main floor they widened the hallway 3 feet so I can get the wheelchair around and or the walker. The bathroom will have a walk in shower with bench and a sink that my chair will drive right under. The bathroom was allot of work because the walls, plumbing, electricity and duck work has all been changed. Soon they will paint all the rooms and fix the floors that have been changed. Then I can move in. Yeah!
Now for the up date on my leg. It's not working well and I am in allot of pain most of the time. My Dr. is bringing in another Dr. and when they can match their schedules , together they are redoing the full surgery again. My Dr. thinks it will be sometime in August. Please keep me in your prayers. I still hope to go to AZ in January to catch up with you all.
Love
Shellyrose
I bought a Condo and I can hardly wait to move in. But before I can it is under going some major changes. It is a 2 bedroom, laundry room, deck with a slider, hall closet, pantry, kitchen, dining room and living room on the first floor. The down stairs was finished with a furnace room, storage room and full bathroom. On the main floor they widened the hallway 3 feet so I can get the wheelchair around and or the walker. The bathroom will have a walk in shower with bench and a sink that my chair will drive right under. The bathroom was allot of work because the walls, plumbing, electricity and duck work has all been changed. Soon they will paint all the rooms and fix the floors that have been changed. Then I can move in. Yeah!
Now for the up date on my leg. It's not working well and I am in allot of pain most of the time. My Dr. is bringing in another Dr. and when they can match their schedules , together they are redoing the full surgery again. My Dr. thinks it will be sometime in August. Please keep me in your prayers. I still hope to go to AZ in January to catch up with you all.
Love
Shellyrose
Saturday, May 15, 2010
It's Time to Update You
Hi to all of you,
I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping you in formed, but now I have a little time to do so. There is no new news on my legs. I am trying with all I got left to move on and try not to do the exploritory surgery. I had hoped that good weather would give me a break from continuous pain and it does, but we got stuck in bad weather once again. This is just how life is going to be. God knows my prayer petition of a healing so there is no sense in repetitious prayer. I let go and let God and except what He asks of me. I don't need to have understanding or clarity in order to submit to His Plan. But I do rest in the knowledge that all I do in what is asked of me doesn't go un-noticed and can only hope my actions please God. I prayer to not give up or weaken under trials. God is good and does reward.
I have attended some grief classes at hospice, but every time I talk about my Honey or the wonderful life we shared, I end up crying the rest of the day. I just miss him so, and the goals we set that I now face alone. I didn't intend to get into all this but we have shared so much together, so why not this too. I will say I have wonderful memories that flood my heart and thoughts when the lonesomeness sets in. I have been blessed to have such a love.
CHOCOLATE BREAK!
In moving along, I bought a condo in MI. I want to get out of the nursing home environment so that means I have healed some emotionally but I do have my concerns if I can do this physically. But as my brother once said," It is better to walk and fall than not walk at all."
BROTHERS!
I hope to still spend my winters in AZ. One goal at a time and allot of home remodeling to focus on. Wish me luck and keep the prayers coming. I love you all
Shellyrose
I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping you in formed, but now I have a little time to do so. There is no new news on my legs. I am trying with all I got left to move on and try not to do the exploritory surgery. I had hoped that good weather would give me a break from continuous pain and it does, but we got stuck in bad weather once again. This is just how life is going to be. God knows my prayer petition of a healing so there is no sense in repetitious prayer. I let go and let God and except what He asks of me. I don't need to have understanding or clarity in order to submit to His Plan. But I do rest in the knowledge that all I do in what is asked of me doesn't go un-noticed and can only hope my actions please God. I prayer to not give up or weaken under trials. God is good and does reward.
I have attended some grief classes at hospice, but every time I talk about my Honey or the wonderful life we shared, I end up crying the rest of the day. I just miss him so, and the goals we set that I now face alone. I didn't intend to get into all this but we have shared so much together, so why not this too. I will say I have wonderful memories that flood my heart and thoughts when the lonesomeness sets in. I have been blessed to have such a love.
CHOCOLATE BREAK!
In moving along, I bought a condo in MI. I want to get out of the nursing home environment so that means I have healed some emotionally but I do have my concerns if I can do this physically. But as my brother once said," It is better to walk and fall than not walk at all."
BROTHERS!
I hope to still spend my winters in AZ. One goal at a time and allot of home remodeling to focus on. Wish me luck and keep the prayers coming. I love you all
Shellyrose
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
A Good DR's Report
Hi to all,
Tuesday I saw my Dr. He ex-rayed my left hip, femur, knee and chin along with my right ankle. The ankle, talus bone has died, but we already knew that and as it is settling into position, I now am bone to bone completely now. This doesn't cause me to much pain because of all the severe damage yet I do have some bad days with it. Now lets talk about the messed up left leg.
It's healing slow but sure, Yeah! There doesn't show any further dieing bone. There is allot of recovery ahead of me yet- to restore and strengthen the muscles. The Dr feels I have about one more year and I might feel that I'm coming out of my trials.
What a year it has been! It was so good to see all my friends and neighbors in Az again. You all were so kind in helping me make it through a very difficult time on going home without my Honey. I've been home sick ever since I got back. Thank you all for all your love, support and prayers. I couldn't have made it this far without you.
Please pray that my legal issues get resolved so I may get my life moving forward. I've waited patiently for 16 months and still have no answers.
Thank you
love
Shellyrose
Tuesday I saw my Dr. He ex-rayed my left hip, femur, knee and chin along with my right ankle. The ankle, talus bone has died, but we already knew that and as it is settling into position, I now am bone to bone completely now. This doesn't cause me to much pain because of all the severe damage yet I do have some bad days with it. Now lets talk about the messed up left leg.
It's healing slow but sure, Yeah! There doesn't show any further dieing bone. There is allot of recovery ahead of me yet- to restore and strengthen the muscles. The Dr feels I have about one more year and I might feel that I'm coming out of my trials.
What a year it has been! It was so good to see all my friends and neighbors in Az again. You all were so kind in helping me make it through a very difficult time on going home without my Honey. I've been home sick ever since I got back. Thank you all for all your love, support and prayers. I couldn't have made it this far without you.
Please pray that my legal issues get resolved so I may get my life moving forward. I've waited patiently for 16 months and still have no answers.
Thank you
love
Shellyrose
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy Valentine's to All
What a beautiful day to remember true love. I have been blessed. Although I adjust from traditions of today, I quiet my heart and feel blessed that I easily am flooded with many memories. My Bruce lives in my heart forever and as he once asked: close your eyes, feel his heart beat, hear the beat and know that when he is gone remember that moment and feel his love beat for me from far away. So that is what I'm doing today. His love is still with me and I can only hope you other valentines have or had such great love. Happy Valentines Day to all.
Love
Shellyrose
Love
Shellyrose
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Where's My Suitcase, I'm Going on Vacation!
Yeah! To All,
Good news, Bad News. I went to the Dr yesterday and all test came back. There isn't any form of virus or infection in the fluid that was drawn from my knee. And as we already heard, there doesn't seem to be a defect in the hardware (joint replacement) but there is a possibility that there is a microscopic looseness that only can be found through exploratory surgery. I asked the Dr if that meant moving the skin aside to see the movement of the muscle or what? He said worse, he would need to remove all the muscle from the joint area to see the movement and look for any slipping. That means full surgery and recovery would be as starting over.
I can barley walk, and transfer so I'm defiantly getting worse instead of better. I want to rule out that this isn't weather related because it is real cold here and I don't now how but I'm going to bite the bullet and do more intense therapy and try out the pool for no weight bearing exercise. I do have good days here and there so I'm going to play/work before I face another surgery.
I'm going to Az for 2 weeks. I will be stepping back in time. It has been since Dec 1 of 2008 since I have been home. I'm looking forward to so much and yet know already how hard it will be without my Honey with me. I also know I'll be in a safe place with family, friends and neighbors. If you want to get rich quick I'd buy stock in the tissue stock market because I know the sales are going up in March.
I could use some help if anyone is available. I'll see you all soon.
Love
Shellyrose
I could use some help if anyone is available. I'll see you all soon.
Love
Shellyrose
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Thank You for all Your Prayers
Monday went well, thank you. I went in at 6:00 am with the support of my two sisters, Valerie and Wendy. It was so nice to share some laughs while I was fighting off the white coat syndrome I seem to be developing. After 4 pokes they found a vain for my I-V. I truly am getting to hate that part. The procedure started at 8:00am. The DR twisted and turned on my leg and seemed to be pleased with the motion and tightness, so he went to plan B. He tapped off allot of fluid to test that and discussed the options off reinforcing the femur with supporting rods . But that means another intense surgery so we're waiting on the fluid results and we will know when we will know on what to do next or if any thing. I will keep you all posted.
Today , Tuesday, I woke up with a rash from the waste up and I think it could be the new pain meds but I'll take a few more and see. (I don't think that would be to dumb, oh well 53 for my first mistake wouldn't be to bad. Hey this is my story and I'm stickin' to it.)
I went junkin' with my sister in law today for 4 hours we had a ball.
Thank you for your time and Prayers
Love you all
ShellyRose
Today , Tuesday, I woke up with a rash from the waste up and I think it could be the new pain meds but I'll take a few more and see. (I don't think that would be to dumb, oh well 53 for my first mistake wouldn't be to bad. Hey this is my story and I'm stickin' to it.)
I went junkin' with my sister in law today for 4 hours we had a ball.
Thank you for your time and Prayers
Love you all
ShellyRose
Monday, January 11, 2010
I'm Asking for Prayer, Please Join Me
Hello Everyone,
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Mine was good considering everything. It was wonderful to be with family for Christmas because it had been 7 years. I quited my heart many of times to hold on the memories Bruce and I had shared and I needed to feel his heart beat from far away. Our love still is strong and I miss him dearly but I'm trying to advance into my new life.
I had hoped to spend some time in AZ this winter but my leg isn't doing so good. I went to the Dr. Jan. 5th and my plans of being a snowbird this year might have changed. I knew things weren't feeling right and with a little testing the Dr. has some concerns too. At this point we're praying it is as simple as scare tissue, but the Dr has prepared me for possible doing the full surgery over again.
As of January 5th, I'm going back into the hospital. He is going to put me under and the twist, turn and pull on my leg. We're hoping to break loose some scare tissue yet he has prepared me for the full blown surgery to be done again. Our concern is it didn't take, cement came undone, or even the replacement was a defective one. I asked him if he would let me know and he said as long as I'm under he is going to do what ever is necessary and a 4 hour block has been reserved for me on the 25th. If this is happening again, my recovery might take me through this winter season and I'll miss this season in AZ.
Please pray for me. That God's will be done, and that I serve him proudly. I wish for some sunshine, less of a medical life and that decisions become clearer to me. Please pray my dear loyal friends.
love
Shellyrose
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Mine was good considering everything. It was wonderful to be with family for Christmas because it had been 7 years. I quited my heart many of times to hold on the memories Bruce and I had shared and I needed to feel his heart beat from far away. Our love still is strong and I miss him dearly but I'm trying to advance into my new life.
I had hoped to spend some time in AZ this winter but my leg isn't doing so good. I went to the Dr. Jan. 5th and my plans of being a snowbird this year might have changed. I knew things weren't feeling right and with a little testing the Dr. has some concerns too. At this point we're praying it is as simple as scare tissue, but the Dr has prepared me for possible doing the full surgery over again.
As of January 5th, I'm going back into the hospital. He is going to put me under and the twist, turn and pull on my leg. We're hoping to break loose some scare tissue yet he has prepared me for the full blown surgery to be done again. Our concern is it didn't take, cement came undone, or even the replacement was a defective one. I asked him if he would let me know and he said as long as I'm under he is going to do what ever is necessary and a 4 hour block has been reserved for me on the 25th. If this is happening again, my recovery might take me through this winter season and I'll miss this season in AZ.
Please pray for me. That God's will be done, and that I serve him proudly. I wish for some sunshine, less of a medical life and that decisions become clearer to me. Please pray my dear loyal friends.
love
Shellyrose
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